Sit tight, this is a long one...
Let me begin by saying I really don't like taking to my blog as a forum for complaining....sometimes I think pure honesty can come across as complaining and that is certainly not my intention. So, I apologize in advance if ever during this post you stop and think to yourself, "shut up already and suck it up!"....I cringe at the thought of being that girl. So, this post is just pure and honest...I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin' it like it is.
If you are a new reader of my blog (welcome!)...I should give a quick recap of my medical history....I have been trying to get my thyroid (I have hypothyroidism) on track for over a year now and I am currently pregnant with #2 (heyyyy! so excited)........however, the combination of the two can be a bit, urrr, confusing. Case in point:
I had an appt last week with my endocrinologist (thyroid dr). The same doctor I see once a month....the same doctor who has a very thick accent of which country I still cannot confirm and speaks very fast. The same doctor who I have to wait over an hour to see even though I schedule the appts based on my daughter's nap time. When she finally came into the room last week she starts talking fast in her really thick accent right away. She then looks up and sees the look on my face. "What's wrong?"...Me: "Well, these appts are starting to become very difficult when I have to wait over an hour to be seen and I have a rambunctious 2 year old with me." She quickly apologizes and jumps into how my thyroid is out of whack (again) and asks me:
"Have you been feeling, tired, anxious, moody?" Um, why yes....as a matter of fact, come to think of it "Well, I AM 18 weeks pregnant...so, yes...that fits the bill." She then tells me that I have gained A LOT of weight in the last two months...shaking her head as she is telling me as though she has never seen anything like it. I began to shrink in my chair, I felt like a science project, embarrassed, not quite understanding...running numbers in my head from what my OB has told me I have gained compared to the 2 digit number she is throwing at me.
I was so flustered between waiting for so long, keeping my daughter out of the medical cabinets and processing what she was saying that I had a hard time understanding a word from that point on. All I knew was she was adjusting my medicine (again) and to have my blood tested in three weeks. okay.
Being pregnant means your hormones are all over the place. You feel bloated and plain gross at times....stretch marks looming. For me, even gaining a few pounds NOT pregnant is hard.....I only have 5' 2" to squeeze it all into. So, during the car ride home....my girl fell asleep, I was tired, I have gained an enormous amount of weight apparently, however you can still barely tell I am pregnant, my legs now rub together when I walk and my back end has doubled in size....not to mention the girls upstairs, who are already large to begin with, are now being billed rent. It's not cute.
I cried most of the way home. I could not get that number out of my head...it just didn't make sense. By the time we got home, Leila was still asleep...I tried to transport her to her crib but she woke up and now she was hungry. I needed to feed her and get her back down for a late nap and still needed to get to the store and buy milk. I called my sister in law to see if she could come over. You know when you start talking and then your voice starts shaking and you start to freak out inside your head because you know a massive amount of tears and hyperventilating is coming next? Yeah, that's what happened.....nice.
So, the more I thought about it the more I realized that my endocrinologist had to be looking at a very old starting weight number in my chart and I was going to go off of the weight I have gained so far based on my OB's number because that made a heck of a lot more sense. And the more
I put it into perspective the more I realized a little weight gain while pregnant is nothing compared to what some people should be worried about:
I strapped on my sturdiest sports bra and got my pregnant self to the gym today. And it felt great....I am going to relish in my pregnancy, slow down, enjoy it....breathe. Last weekend I "popped" out so now there is a reason for my expanded waist line...thank you very much. And, feeling my baby move every night when I lie down....priceless.
As long as I don't end up like Jessica Simpson and in a Weight Watchers endorsement deal by the time the baby arrives, I'll be okay with my weight gain.
Thanks for letting me put it all out there!