Thyroid, Schmyroid.

Let me begin by saying I was a total sobbing fool earlier today and had to call my sister to be reassured that I am a "normal" mother (contrary to some) who is experiencing "normal" emotions with our daughter's first birthday fast approaching next Tuesday.  I literally was sitting in her nursery reading her a book and the next minute I had full on crocodile tears...filled with overwhelming joy and love for this sweet baby girl I at times think I don't deserve.  How did we get so lucky?  Don't get me wrong, there are days when I count the minutes until nap time...but I cringe now at the thought of the last year flashing before my eyes.  Sigh.  Our first year is almost over and I simply can't believe it....

On another note:  my body seems to be all jacked up (for lack of a better term.)  About seven years ago I found out my throat tightens up, making it hard to swallow.  Sweet!  I dropped 15 lbs. fast because I was so afraid to eat, I had almost choked a few times.  I was due for a follow up endoscopy in '08 and never bothered to have it done...and in the last 6 months or so I have almost choked about a dozen times...very graceful when you have to rush to the bathroom in a fancy restaurant in the middle of your anniversary dinner.  So, in I went for an endoscopy last week and out I came with a sore throat like no other.  They had to put an actual tear in the throat muscle to permanently open it.  One section of my throat had tightened to the size of a dime!  oy.

That's why I find it so hilarious that I have this issue eating, however why can't I drop the last 10 lbs of my pregnancy weight?  My thyroid apparently is also out of whack...the kind of out of whack which makes you gain weight, be exhausted, be depressed and one other thing which would be inappropriate to write in my blog.

So, I have 6 weeks of medicine to take and I am hoping and praying I will feel good soon.  Atleast now I have a better understanding as to why I have been so short with people, moody, probably rude and a smorgasbord of other things.  I'm really, really sorry to all who had to endure this.  I have a very patient and loving husband, thank God.

I really had just chalked it up to being a new mom.  But, that in itself is fabulous...

P.S. Leila is officially walking :):

Monday Night, Baby!

Today is game day and I am super excited to make my first recipe from a book I have been slightly obsessed with the last few days.  A hearty, yummy corn chowder for my hubby to enjoy while yelling at the Redskins.  This is by far my favorite time of year...to nest, cook, curl up with a good book, watch football and enjoy the changing leaves.  I have read the book cover to cover and love its message.  It is Lost Recipes by Marion Cunningham and it's all about getting back to wholesome, family dinners.  The way it should be, really.  Memories are made in the kitchen.

Ok, so I am beginning to sound like a stereotypical 1950's housewife (blast!)....I may even wear my brown and pink polka dot apron this go round.  But seriously...we ladies are nurturers through and through and what man doesn't love coming home from a long day at the office, sitting down to a game of football on the tube and eating a meal prepared with love?  And, so I guess sitting down to have dinner as a family at our actual kitchen table will have to wait until Leila goes to bed after dinner time.  For tonight...dinner will be had in the living room with the lovely sound of football in the background.  Hello, Fall!!!!

a year in a box

So, yesterday marked our two year wedding anniversary!  I don't know where the last year has gone.  Really.  My dad and I have had some heart to hearts recently about life and how as you get older time just goes faster and faster.  As he gets older, he wants to pass down what he has learned and really wants me  to savor each moment and enjoy life to it's fullest.  I can appreciate that, especially after the birth of our daughter and witnessing first hand exactly what he means.

After I discovered Darcy Miller's scrapboxing idea I decided with our first anniversary to take a very small box and bundle up our year with special momentos.  This is our 2nd year box...I'm going to keep this anniversary tradition going until one day we have a full wall of scrap boxes to look back on. 

The key is to keep things throughout the year that are meaningful.  I have pages from our favorite book, Pat the Bunny, her hat from the hospital, 1/2 of her toy pig since the other piece went missing, part of Max's collar, a chocolate wrapper from The Greenbrier, a shell from our first trip to the beach....etc.

Needless to say, this was the year of Leila.

Hello again!

Dear Blog,

I know I have been ignoring you and I am sorry.  It's been a rough few months but I'm feeling better now and ready to get back to my painting and face the world again.  You see, I was in this really dark spot for a while and just needed a break.  In June, TJ and I found out we were expecting another baby!  We were so excited and started planning right away...it was hard to imagine Leila would have a little brother or sister so soon.  Our first appointment arrived and things didn't go quite as we imagined.  Our baby wasn't growing as should be expected.  We had to wait another two weeks for another sonogram.  Two weeks slowly passed...our baby had not grown.  Unfortunately we had a miscarriage. 

I wasn't sure if I should talk about it...it is something so private.  But, the more I thought about it the more I thought it is nothing to be ashamed of.  Miscarriages are all too common, yet rarely spoken of.  And, for that matter, the fact that I went through a depression for several weeks after...really is perfectly normal.  And, it's ok to say "I need a break, I need help."

Thank goodness for our wonderful family.  They helped us through such a trying time.  It showed us that family really is your backbone when life throws you your hardest punches.

So, here I am...I'm back!  Thanks for sticking by me...can't wait to paint my heart out!

xo Erin

For more information on miscarriages go here.

until next time

Leila- 9 months

Rather than overwhelm myself with anxiety over the fact that I have been neglectful of my blog and working on various projects, I have decided to announce I will be taking an indefinite amount of time off to re-group.  We have had some unexpected things happen in our family and it has been a rough start to what we thought would be our first family Summer.  So, in order to enjoy what is left of it...we are taking some time to focus on just that.

Thanks for bearing with me...I will get my head out of the clouds at some point, but until then I am officially disconnected.

4th of July and daisies in the making

 

We enjoyed a fun few days with family over 4th of July weekend...

and while my brother-in-law is deployed at the moment he was there with us in spirit :)

Why can't I think of an invention like this?!

Working on a new painting of these daisies...love the colors, beautiful!

Vacation

In the last month, Leila has discovered the art of getting into the laundry basket, crawling and finger foods.  This has made for a very curious little girl and a very tired (and worried) mommy...keeping her out of things as she also tries to pull up, get into my paints and put everything in her mouth!  With that said, we are on vacation for a few days for some much needed rest but will be back next week with some cool new things in the works and, I'm sure, new things we've discovered.  Have a great 4th!

Iowa

Finished the Iowa painting for the Rossi family! Lisa provided several photos of her family farm for me to work from.  It's large, 43" x 23" x 2" deep...lots of fun working on this with all of the bold colors and build up of texture in areas. Hoping they will enjoy it for many, many years to come.

City Lights

This painting now available on etsy! I really loved working on this...I'm loving the color combination and the thick layering. Starting a new piece today (painting on distressed wood this time) but using this same style. I'm likin' it!

generations in black and white

Finished this drawing for Abby of her grandfather and her son walking hand in hand.  Such a sweet photo to work from...she is giving it to her grandmother as a gift.  Thanks, Abby!

sunflowers

Just finished an acrylic painting of some pretty sunflowers we received from friends.  I love sunflowers and how bold they are. This is now up on etsy!

abstract love

This fun little number will be available on etsy as soon as it dries.  This would do well in a girl's room or any room that suits bright colors.

14" x 14" x 2" deep original oil on burlap.  Edges painted soft blue, ready to hang. 

shop on etsy

Like most little girls, when I was about 5 years old, I had a make believe shop in our home in Austin, TX.  I set it up in the closet, underneath the stairs with a counter, fake money and everything.  I sold lip gloss, dolls, candy...and my drawings.

28 years later, here's my modern day shop. Although it is more public and I really am selling my work this time...it will still have the same charm.  Loads of work to do and paintings to put up, but I did it!

trim

Found this great, vintage trim at this antique mall in Mechanicsville, VA.  It was 5 cents a yard at one time!  This place was a gold mine for funky finds...Leila and I had a field day checking everything out.  Getting started on my hand-made business card holder and am using this trim as a back drop, what luck, I'm a sucker for green.  Photo will follow of finished box!

summer bbq

a backyard bbq brought together new and old friends...fun day!  Read more here about the joys of planning our first bbq with a baby...

a new leaf turns over & summer begins

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster ride with Max passing, traveling, working, cleaning, being a mom.  You know the drill.  So, I decided to break out of my shell and start a free spirited, carefree, colorful oil (on burlap).  I let the brush do the talking--we'll see where this takes me.  I'm beginning to wonder if I see my shop on etsy becoming real soon...my goal is to have it up sooner rather than later.  Maybe end of Summer?

And, today we enjoyed a fun day of swimming.  Leila loved it...she wondered how her bathtub all of a sudden got so darn big.  Don't worry, dada didn't dunk her. 

I'm off on a road trip the next few days but will return the end of the week!